I Am Pro-Abortion

When I was in high school, our social studies class did an activity in which small groups created an ideal presidential candidate. I'll admit that I had a considerable amount of influence over how incredibly liberal our guy (yes, guy - if only I had been more of a feminist those days) was. But the presenter for our group happened to be a young conservative person, and when reporting the characteristics we'd given our candidate, he either unconsciously or snarkily read "pro-choice" as "pro-abortion". At the time I scoffed and thought, NO ONE identifies as "pro-abortion". It's too controversial and cringe-worthy, and no one actually promotes abortions themselves - the focus is on the freedom of choice.

Since I've started working at an abortion clinic, I've been morbidly fascinated by and seeking out pro-life propaganda, presumably because I like feeling righteously indignant. They, too, say "pro-abortion" when the fairer and more accurate term is "pro-choice". All my progressive friends are "pro-choice", as well as most of the liberal pastors I know, and edgy young adults I know from college when we spent so much time sitting around envisioning the utopic future we'd help realize. We're all "pro-choice", and pro-individual freedoms in general. 

I was curious to know whether anyone DOES have the balls to claim for themselves the descriptor "pro-abortion". I read this article - "Yes, I'm Pro-Abortion", by Lauren Rankin. I don't know this writer, and I'm not familiar with the PolicyMic site, but I was persuaded by these lines: 

The statement that “I’m not pro-abortion, I’m pro-choice” is inherently defensive. Rather than embracing abortion as a viable and respected choice, it sidelines abortion; it delegitimizes that valid choice. By rhetorically sidelining abortion, we are distancing ourselves from that choice. If a woman wishes to have an abortion, then I support abortion.

This argument is compelling, as far as I'm concerned. I think I have always been vaguely aware of that element of the “not pro-abortion but pro-choice” stance – it makes it seem like no one is willing to stand in the controversial, unpopular place where abortions happen and are inherently good things.

So I will go ahead and be an advocate for abortion, if in my own quiet way. Professionally, I don’t argue one way or another – the focus is still on the choice, made by every woman, for her own individual life. But I am willing to start sorting out what this new claim can mean for me, what I can do with it without seeming either heretical or heartless.

One concern is that, both as an employee of an abortion clinic and as a woman called to ministry, who belongs to a particular denomination, I don’t want to speak for anyone else. I’m new enough both in my job and in my church to be unsure what official stances may be. But speaking only for myself and from a place where these thoughts and beliefs are just beginning to become clearer, I think I can honestly suggest a few ideas.

I believe that a fetus in the first trimester of gestation is not a person. There’s an exciting variety of religious approaches to the question of personhood in relation to the preborn (yeah, definitely still looking for a less hokey term). You’ve got theologians focusing on the idea of “quickening”, which I understand to be the argument that at the point when the pregnant woman begins to feel the fetus moving in her womb, the fetus begins to be a person in her own right. There are arguments about the point of “ensoulment”, the exact time in which an eternal soul joins with the physical potential of a fetus. My own favorite is the emphasis on Genesis 2:7: “Then the Lord God formed man from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and the man became a living being” – seems like this means that it’s the first breath rather than the heartbeat which signifies the beginning of life. This correlates to the stance that a fetus has independent human rights once she is viable, able to survive on her own without dependence on her mother. All of these arguments seem to agree that a fetus in the first trimester is not yet a person in her own right, and I have found that insight compelling.

Beyond that, of COURSE there’s the argument that the life and livelihood of the person that already lives as an independence person trumps the potential life and livelihood of a fetus. I don’t just mean in cases of problematic pregnancies which involve fetal anomalies, threaten the mother’s life, or are the result of trauma. I mean also the more awkward or seemingly selfish situation in which a healthy fetus seems on track to develop into a healthy child, but the pregnant woman does not want to have a child in this time, place, or relationship. The born are more important that the unborn, and I am VERY confident of that.

Most of the ideas are works in progress as I find solid ground to stand on in my identity as a church member and clinic employee. But even as the boundaries of the phrase seem hazy and I’m fighting the instinct to cringe away from what feels like a callous statement – I am pro-abortion.

Home Prayers -- for my husband

The day can be crazy.
Besides the fact that the commute 
and a few of the coworkers do drive you crazy,
there's also the work.

The paycheck I contribute
is earned in the best possible way, I think --
by caring for those in crisis,
helping them navigate their choices
as they find a clearer vision for their own
tomorrows.
It can be hard, of course,
letting their stories into my life,
a collection of anecdotes based on the
rawest moments I've witnessed.
I feel rooted in a long history of human experience.
I love the work, and its heaviness.

And you, you're almost exactly where you want to be,
helping to build a future made of systems and clouds,
and so many things I'll never remember the names of.
You are so deeply passionate about the prospect
of pushing beyond the boundaries of human experience,
exploring possibilities, boldly going where no one has gone before.
You love the work, and its fast pace.

But I know you also worry a great deal.
Your mind races imagining our future
as it is shaped by every new day and bill and paycheck and dream.
Your own future, too, just you
and the man you want to be, who I already love.
My mind often feels slapdash and exhausting, and worse
are the dark knotted places I go when left to my own devices.
I worry too -- mostly about the past, things said years ago or done yesterday.

Then we come home,
and we are present.
And I realize that in this house,
in this room, in this bed,
we have built a sanctuary,
made of pillows and blankets and some good love.
It's where we talk through everyday events,
and the ends of every fight.
It's where we each try to imagine what the other experiences in a given day,
and we again give up trying to see clearly
and try instead to listen.

Where the cat purrs as if in prayer,
and the dog howls a hallelujah,
as we quietly worship the peace we have found.